So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
