I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
