I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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