508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
