I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
