i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
