No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
