i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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