Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
