You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
