Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize