You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
