I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
