He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
