i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
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