I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
