apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
