hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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