you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
how drunk are you?
Several
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
