i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
