apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
Randomize
