some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
