i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
