I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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