The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
