she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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