I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
