maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
