Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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