Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
