So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
