There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
