hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Randomize
