I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
