Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
i think my cat just said my name.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Come on in and take your pants off
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