i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
