It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
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