I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Randomize
