Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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