Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
