i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
No subtext here. People are naked.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
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