please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
We need to rekindle our bromance
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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