If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
