:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
