I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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