i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
