Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
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