Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
