I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
well, you know. whores of a feather.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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