I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
