Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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