Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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