I think i peed on brittanys purse
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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