I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize