awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
