Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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