they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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