Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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