I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Randomize
