I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
