did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
