porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Randomize
