There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
There's even glitter on my cock...
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
