dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Randomize
