i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
