Dual....:-)
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
