Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
