I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
