I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize